Thursday, December 20, 2007


A proper scone is like something between a muffin and a biscuit only it has been driven to the brink of complete and unforgettable dryness. Only a good self-hating people would devise and perpetuate such a thing. If you’re going to suffer, suffer well. So say the Brits. And I for one stand with them.

From The Guide:

The only true way to mitigate the dryness of a proper scone is with the liberal use of genuine clotted cream (from Devonshire), which has, on more than one occasion, been said to have a slightly scalded or cooked flavor.

Thursday, December 13, 2007


Marmalade is a very special case indeed. Made from the very bitterest oranges on earth (or at least, Seville). If a little bit goes a long way, then a lot goes a really long way. Marmalade.

From The Guide:

At first I was quite taken aback at the unearthly bitterness of this boiled orange concoction these Scots keep calling marmalade, but over time (three times), I began to understand. Along with the bitterness is a mature, dare I say, sophisticated quality in the flavor, which cannot be achieved using the more delicate Oranges from other parts. I do not claim to fully comprehend how it is that a thing so bitter should also be so plainly addictive. But it does not fail to remind me of that most horrible villain from S, Mr. J.P. Stokes, who was not only responsible for the most unnatural deaths of over forty-three women, but who was also one of the most unusual looking young gentleman the world has ever seen. When it was time for him to hang on the gallows. The townsfolk insisted on a most unprecedented measure, that Mr. Stokes remain unhooded throughout the process. The judge agreed. For he too could not take his eyes from upon his startling visage.